when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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