Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i have two assholes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
