i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
