Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
