Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't deserve a penis
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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