last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
