every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
