So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
