I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Is Oprah even human
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
