I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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