is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
