i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
