U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize