You smell like a Billy Joel song
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
