Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
this will be a night to untag.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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