You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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