dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
