There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
