you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
