Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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