Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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