I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
