Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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