All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
tequila makes me forget i have legs
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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