Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Success! We fucked roommates!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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