Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
