He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
