matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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