it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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