He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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