Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
