My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
