every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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