Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
