I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
