One girl and one boy is just not enough.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
