Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize