its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
