girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize