hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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