like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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