So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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