So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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