Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize