Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
