I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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