i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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