So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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