i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
