he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
