why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
