My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
