I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
