you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
