How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
