instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
