Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize