My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
