Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did I show you my penis last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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