just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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