so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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